And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
