We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
