Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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