I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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