i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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