Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
