I can tuck mytits in my pants
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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