i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You don't make any sense
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