i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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