Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
