hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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