Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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