I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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