No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
"it" just moved
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
