even my farts smell like vagina
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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