perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This is my gift to your gina
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
