how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I checked into jail on foursquare
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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