Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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