I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if only i could text you this smell
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
