I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
