Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
