I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
