I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
