just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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