I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
