My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
