i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
