It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it's like iHOP with fire
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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