I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
