And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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