Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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