I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
