The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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