If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
how does that bad decision feel?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
