HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
