Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
