So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
