The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
