Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
