i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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