So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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