i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
