I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize