So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
