If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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