she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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