so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize