Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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