My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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