Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
