YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize