Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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