i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize