Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
sex in a hospital.. check
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize